dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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