OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
