What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
