ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
