as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
