I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
