Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
