he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
