My hand turned me down
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
