Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
