god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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