gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
