Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
