..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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