This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
