I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
