HIV tests are more positive than that guy
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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