I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
