This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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