I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Randomize
