You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
