More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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