Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
