All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
