Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
