So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
