yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
