My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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