its not stalking. its research.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
