she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
they call him Oral-B. enough said
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
