wrigley field is MILF paradise
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize