I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize