There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
