The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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