How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
