We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
