My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
