Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
no, he came in my armpit
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize