Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
