physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
