If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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