ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
