doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
