glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
