but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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