& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
