Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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