I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
