I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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