maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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