Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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