After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's blow job season.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
