i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
