We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
