she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
