Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
