I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
