Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
