I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
