the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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