I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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