U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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