Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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