I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
