well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
