We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
