frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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