New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
