i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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