well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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