Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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